Just as Justin Bieber asked his girl to forgive him (we know it’s you, Selena) in his latest and greatest hit “Sorry,” we ask you: is it really ever too late to say apologize? The answer is absolutely not. We’ve all have made many mistakes in our lives. Some bigger than others, but it’s something we all have experienced whether it’s getting caught cheating on a test to cheating on your long-term significant other (but we’re kind of judging you if it’s the latter). Forgiveness is complex, we know that, but it is achievable if you really pursue it.
The problem with apologies is the situation is not the same with everyone. What may work with your parents may not work with your best friend. There are many ways to win someone’s forgiveness, you just have to figure out which one works for your type of relationship. So what method works best for you?
Take the fall
Apologies should be real. You have to really mean them. No matter what you did or if you feel what you did wasn’t that bad, you still have to take the fall if you really want that person to forgive you. Admitting you are wrong can get you far when trying to patch things up. Just by saying, “I know I did something wrong, I feel bad about it. I hope you can forgive me,” can move mountains. You have to be on the ball and drop your pride completely, but the result is worth it.
Give it time
Sometimes the best remedy can be doing nothing. But hold it! You still have to apologize and have that heart-to-heart talk if you want to make it work, but there’s room to tone it down a little bit. The only difference is that in this case you let the problem rest. Let that person think about what you said and don’t push it. As long as you don’t seem careless and you check on that person once in a while, you should be fine. Constantly asking for forgiveness can seem desperate and annoying. Some people just like to have their own space to think about things. Apologies aren’t about your personal satisfaction; there’s another person on the other end you need to consider.
Detail by detail
This actually takes more than just a simple, “I’m sorry.” Making small yet significant gestures can work wonders. Send a good morning text. Buy that person lunch. Let his/her friends know you miss them. Like RiRi says, this takes more work, work, work, work, work. These gestures show that you actually care about the person you wronged. Taking the time to pay attention to that person will send a message that you’re paying attention and don’t have any intention of hurting anyone.
Go big or go home
By big we mean “synchronized dance routine” big, obviously. Well, not actually that big, but you get the point. This is the classic apology tactic in many romantic films. The only thing that may go wrong with this plan is that you actually need more than just work; you need money, time and a lot of planning. If you really feel that you need to do something incredible and elaborate to fix your mistakes, then go crazy. Just make sure that this person likes big shows and reacts well to them. You don’t want to go through all that effort for nothing. If you actually know it will definitely work, then go crazy, my friend.
So, Justin said it. The most important thing is saying you’re sorry even when you know there is no fixing what you did. It’s the right thing to do. We can’t guarantee you’ll get instant forgiveness, but it’s better to try than to let someone you care about exit your life just like that. Think about all the bad stuff you’ve done in the past and the people you’ve had problems with and ask yourself: is it too late now to say sorry?
Photo by: Kyla Christopher