Posted on April 12, 2016

When No Actually Means No: How To Handle Rejection

Entertainment

How many times have you had a crush on someone, but you are afraid he/she will reject you if you finally make a move? Instead, you do nothing to keep your pride intact. Rejection is part of the dating world. A part of allowing yourself to really like someone includes a slight possibility of that person not reciprocating those feelings. Sure, it’s easy to be the one who rejects a prospect. But when the tables turn, it will hit you like a truck. At least once in your life you will get rejected. it’s like having the flu: You know you’ll survive, but getting sick sucks regardless. Knowing how to manage your emotions in this kind of situation will show you are mature enough to handle it.

It’s Not You, It’s Them

Not everybody can handle rejection flawlessly. Feelings are hurt, pride is on the floor, a million thoughts go through your head. A particularly toxic thought? “Is there something wrong with me?” We’re gonna to stop you right there. The first step we encourage you to follow is never, ever question yourself for not fulfilling someone’s expectations. If they don’t like you for who you are, there is nothing you can do. Nothing is wrong with you. It only means that that person was not the right match for you anyway. The thing about not receiving that reassurance from someone you like can be heartbreaking, but one must never doubt oneself because of it.

Don’t Make Something Out of Nothing

We know sometimes people think that when someone turns you down it’s because they want you to keep trying. Honestly, it depends on the context and the type of relationship you have. You also have to keep an eye on the indirect signs that person throws at you. Maybe they say they don’t like you, but they ask you to go to dinner just the two of you, or text you until really late at night. Those could be signs of playing hard to get, and even then, you have to read really carefully between the lines. It’s a risky game. Most people misconstrue what that person is actually trying to tell you: No. This is due, in part, to a state of denial. We make up a thousand excuses, such as “he/she doesn’t want to seem too easy”, “he/she wants me to keep trying” or “he/she wants me, he/she just can’t admit it.” For this reason, the second step to handling rejection is accepting it.

Fake It Til You Make It

The best thing you can do in times of inevitable rejection is treat it as if it doesn’t hurt you. Although you might want to insult that person or simply hide under your bedcovers forever, you have to keep yourself together. That’s the best counter-attack you’ll be able to use. You also have to keep in consideration that it’s not anyone’s fault. You cannot make someone like you out of thin air. We all have different tastes and sometimes rejection could be simply a matter of preference and not wanting to lead you on. All you can do is appreciate that this person is at least honest.

Finally, think about the people you will reject in your life. The best you can do is be honest, but gentle and considerate. Who knows what will happen tomorrow? You might be put in that situation and you’d like them to be considerate in return. Keep your head up. In the end, you’ll find a person where the word “rejection” will never be brought up.

Photo by: Sara Carpenter

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