Posted on January 29, 2016

Shut Up and Drive


As young adults, one of the most anticipated events in our lives is learning how to drive. But not all that glitters is gold. There are many people out there who make us reconsider the safety of even owning a car these days because they don’t know how to use a turn signal, they don’t understand that “right on left” is not a thing, or that it’s completely and utterly rude to go first at a four way stop if you were the last one there. Although these people deserve much more than a simple stare down and occasionally a honk, we must learn to keep our road rage inside of our own vehicles.

The Dictionary of Driving

One of the signs that you are approaching the peak is when you can no longer contain your thoughts inside your head and they just explode out of your mouth. There is always the classic “What are you even doing?” Then comes the, “You can’t even drive!” Next you follow with the “Oh my God, are you serious?!” Finally, you end with a classic and unsavory scream (e.g.: “AGGHHHJASKLD;FJASDKL!”). However, one of the best ways to release this anger is to talk to yourself in your car, alone, about how stupid that driver is and how you want to just ram into the back of their vehicle for no reason. Trust me, it helps.

But For Real…

On a real note, the first thing  we suggest you do that is very helpful when facing your road-rage, is to listen to music that makes you sing your heart out. I highly recommend Adele 25; it is everything. If you’re so engulfed in belting your favorite song, you won’t even realize that these inexperienced people do not know how to drive. You can just mouth the words to them as you are passing since they decided to take their sweet time and drive 20 mph in a 45 mph zone.

Honk If You Love Good Drivers

We all have that one friend who has severe honking-itis.

“I honk at everything. If they move slightly in my direction and I feel like they are wrong, I honk,” says freshman studio art major Azucena Kleckner.

If you are suffering from severe honking-itis, here’s what we suggest: consult a doctor, see if they can prescribe you some chill pills and maybe some handcuffs to keep those palms off the center of the steering wheel. Also, maybe consider the fact that you are just going to be “that guy” that everyone rolls their eyes at.


If all else fails and you decide that there is no possible way to control the road-rage that you were #blessed with, simply don’t drive. It may not seem like the most convenient alternative, but taking a break from your anger-inducing road trips could save you a lot of trouble and spare the other drivers. Grab a friend or bug your mom into chauffeuring you around, just be sure to pitch in for gas.

Photo by: Elena Rodriguez

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