As the saying goes, “timing is everything,” so breaking up with someone with Valentine’s Day around the corner might be one of the hardest things to do. The pressure of living up to the hype of Valentine’s Day with people posting their lavish gifts on the ‘gram, whist all you want is out of the relationship, is hard enough to bear. Now, as society has it, breaking up with someone is supposed to be this big event where you are destroying this person’s life, but in actuality, you’re helping that person. It may sound twisted, but it’s true.
Initially, the break up will never be as easy as we want it to be. Feelings will be hurt, and the hard questions like, “Did you ever love me?” may come up. The key is to be genuine. Usually during breakups, people use the typical lines we hear in the movies: “It’s not you, it’s me.” or the ever-popular, “I’m just not good enough for you,” which makes you seem pretty lame. Honesty is always the best policy. If you think you just need space or time to be by yourself, let them know. It’s a breakup—there’s no need for fluff or sugar-coating.
Another relevant factor is location. Finding somewhere unromantic may be one of the hardest things to do around Valentine’s Day, so stick to a private location. Avoid places where you may see couples snuggling together, such as the movies, restaurants and special monumental locations such as Dealey Plaza in downtown Dallas (where JFK was shot—please, one tragedy at a time.) Definitely stay away from any sentimental spots you shared with that person. If you decide to break it off in the spot where you first met or had your first kiss, you’re basically guaranteeing your beau a lifelong painful memory to look back on. You’ll be the person your soon-to-be ex will warn their kids about in the future. If you have any goodwill left in your body for this person, spare them the agony and emotional turmoil.
When I think of the worst break up of all time, I think of Carrie Bradshaw being left at the alter by Mr. Big. Instead of just being straight with her, he dragged out his insecurities in their relationship and ultimately humiliated her in front of all her friends, family and New York City. Moral of the story is: DON’T BE THAT GUY. Whilst it may be hard initially, you just have to thug it out, and maybe you’ll even become friends in the long run.
Photo by: Emily Berger